Categories
Japanese

変で下手な日本語の作文

練習のため書いた短い作文は英語に翻訳してから、変な意味がある。

言うまでもなく、日本の田舎には老人が多い。
It goes without saying that the Japanese countryside is full of old people.

米国大統領はバカであることは言うまでもない。
It need not be said that the American President is an idiot.

たとえ親であろうと、子供のため警察官を打ってはいけません。
Even if you are a parent, you must not hit a police officer for the sake of your child.

たとえ社会的に地位の高い人であろうと、他の人に命令してはいけません。
Even if you are a member of a high social class, you must not tell other people what to do.

テーマ:電車に寝ていた人への手紙
Theme: To the Person Who Was Sleeping On the Train

先週となりに座って、俺の肩に寄りかかって寝たことです。2時間俺をよだれを受けられたり、いびきをかかれたりしまいました。今度、隣の人に迷惑をかけないように寝て下さい。
This is regarding you sitting next to me and sleeping on my shoulder two weeks ago. For two hours, I was drooled and breathed on. Next time, please try not to annoy the person next to you.

驚いたことに急にかんちょうされた。
The surprising thing was that I was suddenly poked with Japanese Culture in the ass.

飛行機を飛び出したところに、鳥がいる。
Once you jump from the plane, there will be birds.

最近、金槌を使わない大工が増えているそうだ。大工なら、大工らしく働くべきだと思います。手だけで使うのは男らしいけど、けがしますよ。
Recently, I heard that the number of carpenters who do not use hammers is increasing. If you are a carpenter, then you should work like a carpenter. Using only your hand is very manly, but you will sustain injuries.

Categories
Japanese

Retarded Japanese Essays

Short essays written in Japanese to practice specific grammar points lose their ring when you translate them into English.

言うまでもなく、日本の田舎には老人が多い。
It goes without saying that the Japanese countryside is full of old people.

米国大統領はバカであることは言うまでもない。
It need not be said that the American President is an idiot.

たとえ親であろうと、子供のため警察官を打ってはいけません。
Even if you are a parent, you must not hit a police officer for the sake of your child.

たとえ社会的に地位の高い人であろうと、他の人に命令してはいけません。
Even if you are a member of a high social class, you must not tell other people what to do.

Categories
English Japanese JET Middle School Murakami

Happier?

The internet has started being friendlier to me this evening. Since about 5 pm, it’s given me several 20 or 30 minute sessions of use before being interrupted by god knows what.

As I walk around town, sing and play with seven year olds, or wake up every morning and eat melon bread and drink cold coffee from a carton, I often think “this is an experience that I want to convey to others.” Since people have seemed fairly interested in this blog so far (you rock, Frankie!) I figure some lively descriptions of fairly mundane occurrences might be warranted.

Most people know about how Japanese students must clean their schools daily. I have vague recollections from my early childhood in the late 80’s, when Japan was poised to take over the world, of this fact being used as anecdotal evidence for Japan’s success – work ethic, basically. I might have bought into this myth before I actually witnessed students clean their school. Yes, everyone is assigned a specific location and team, with a supervising teacher, and a student leader, who must check, in a very official sounding voice, the satisfactory cleaning of their area. Yes, there are broom closets in every hall, and for 20 minutes, they bustle with activity of students cleaning. But they don’t seem to know how to actually sweep. Or mop. They are very good at spreading dirt around. During cleaning time, I usually try to find a broom and dustpan and sweep my way around somewhere. I don’t have to do much to fill up a dustpan so full of sand and lint and dust and dirt to make me start to sneeze. In terms of overall cleanliness, including paint job, condition of doors, windows, floors, etc, none of my Japanese schools compare to even the old Swanson Elementary school building in Palmer. And I’m pretty sure there were just one or two old dudes taking care of that place.

Categories
Japanese JET Murakami

村上着

水曜日に村上に着きました。 新潟駅から来たあと、外国人登録に申し込んで、アパートに行きました。 アメリカのサイズに比べて小さいですが、合っています。 木曜日は、いろいろな種類をサインして、市長をお会いして、ほかのALTのクリスティさんと昼食をジャスコで食べに行きました。 金曜日は私が働くことになっている学校へお回りしました。 それから、自転車で町を冒険しました。 海へ見に行ったけど、けしきは変だと思いました。 浜で、たくさんテトラポットがあるから、不自然な気持ちがありました。 今週末ですから、もっと冒険するつもりです。