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Retarded Japanese Essays

Short essays written in Japanese to practice specific grammar points lose their ring when you translate them into English.

言うまでもなく、日本の田舎には老人が多い。
It goes without saying that the Japanese countryside is full of old people.

米国大統領はバカであることは言うまでもない。
It need not be said that the American President is an idiot.

たとえ親であろうと、子供のため警察官を打ってはいけません。
Even if you are a parent, you must not hit a police officer for the sake of your child.

たとえ社会的に地位の高い人であろうと、他の人に命令してはいけません。
Even if you are a member of a high social class, you must not tell other people what to do.

テーマ:電車に寝ていた人への手紙
Theme: To the Person Who Was Sleeping On the Train

先週となりに座って、俺の肩に寄りかかって寝たことです。2時間俺をよだれを受けられたり、いびきをかかれたりしまいました。今度、隣の人に迷惑をかけないように寝て下さい。
This is regarding you sitting next to me and sleeping on my shoulder two weeks ago. For two hours, I was drooled and breathed on. Next time, please try not to annoy the person next to you.

驚いたことに急にかんちょうされた。
The surprising thing was that I was suddenly poked with Japanese Culture in the ass.

飛行機を飛び出したところに、鳥がいる。
Once you jump from the plane, there will be birds.

最近、金槌を使わない大工が増えているそうだ。大工なら、大工らしく働くべきだと思います。手だけで使うのは男らしいけど、けがしますよ。
Recently, I heard that the number of carpenters who do not use hammers is increasing. If you are a carpenter, then you should work like a carpenter. Using only your hand is very manly, but you will sustain injuries.

One reply on “Retarded Japanese Essays”

It sounds like shit that you’d have to type to kill that boss Strength in Typing of the Dead, doesn’t it?

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